The other morning I was engaged in my usual routine. Meditation. Breakfast ( aka coffee). Getting ready for the day while listening to some podcasts. There was a commercial that started speaking about weight loss and suddenly, a flood of emotions, thoughts, and subsequent words came through me.
I grew up in an era where picking on people was the norm. When I was a small child I was very thin. I was called “spaghetti legs.” Mostly because when I ran, my legs hit my booty. They were hyper flexible. I now think it’s a silly kind of memory but I was left self conscious when I ran in front of people. So, I just stopped doing that. Later, around puberty, as most experience, I put on some weight. Young men may develop a little belly or obtain more muscle mass, depending on many factors. Young women typically develop as they become physically mature enough to reproduce . You know, all the usual parts grow and some extra weight fulfills a natural process. So I went from a “skinny” kid to “chubby” one real quickly. I heard conflicting comments like “boy you can eat”, “eat everything people are staving in other countries “ 🤷🏻♀️.
(Fast forward 10 years) “you got them breeding hips.” How many hear, he/she’d be so attractive if they’d only lose weight.”? I have. Subsequently, many people struggle with NOT gaining weight. Yes, hello 🏼 to those few of you reading this. “ Oh you’re so lucky you can eat whatever you want” “look how skinny you are.” There is an extreme focus on weight, body, and appearance, in our society. Yes, we all know this but I am here to tell you that the seemingly insignificant things you say on a daily basis, could be making a negative impact on your own body image, your emotional well being, your energy body, and others’. There’s a type of obstructive resonance that happens when you call yourself names. Judge. There’s a type of mental note ✅ that is made every time you comment on how somebody looks. This is all typically done on a subconscious level. The repercussions primarily begin subconsciously and build over time.
A month or so ago I posted a meme on Earth Angels Facebook page. We were having a guest speaker about healthy eating, primarily raw. I felt it was appropriate and cute. It was one avocado talking to another who was running away sad saying, “no I said you were a good fat!” Most people thought it was obviously funny and was referencing healthy food choices in a satirical way . One reader found it very offensive. They felt “triggered. “ That anyone who was "fat" would find offense to this and I should take it down immediately. Knowing who I am and what I stand for, I allowed those words to be contemplated. After much thoughtfulness and addressing it personally, I came to the conclusion that I would leave the post up. What I realized about this reaction was that whether you consider yourself; underweight, overweight, good weight, an athlete, “body positive”or ANY of these labels, we’re too focused on the outside. This person was likely still struggling with their own issues, and reacting as such. It’s not sufficient to be a ‘body positive’ advocate, and not respect others in their own skin and choices. I am an advocate of good health as it has changed my life. I am also extremely aware, especially now, how our consistent focus on outward appearance is damaging.
I’m a private person. I choose carefully who I share my most vulnerable parts with. I’m also transparent with all, as to who my highest self is. That said, I felt a strong nudge to be courageous and share something publicly, that I haven’t before. I dealt with an eating disorder for many years. It had a strong grip and impact. An eating disorder may develop for a multitude of reasons. It is usually a combination anxiety and the need to control something when life feels unpredictable. I received excellent professional treatment as a teen. I also was trained in and studied holistic nutrition. I feel confident in helping others in many areas of life, and maintain a balanced lifestyle. I am self aware. I am self assured. That said, I still have to process, every time there is an external focus on my body. Namely weight. Again, most people are well-intentioned. “Did you lose weight? “ Did I need to? “You look great, did you lose weight?” Again, did I not look great before? “You look good ...for your age”
People are usually projecting. Ladies, have you ever complemented another female and immediately began comparing? Judging yourself?
: “Oh boy she looks like she lost some weight....I need to get to the gym. She’s looks better than me .... My thighs are too fat. What am I gonna look if I do lose weight?... What if I have stretch marks?...I hate my body”
That may seem extreme... but it isn’t . Many can relate to the tale spin that can happen. How many of you are thinking about having to wear shorts or a bathing suit this summer? Are obsessing about your body and how it looks or doesn’t look, preventing you from taking part in some activities within your life? Don’t go to yoga because the other people are in better shape? How many of us don’t like being around other females because you know they’re “checking you out” . It’s difficult enough having some men objectify women and navigating through that culture. I have also come across a lot of negative comments from men to other men. I even saw bashing of @Baker Mayfield. I mean, come on a professional athlete? Cleveland’s new 🤴 Saying, he has a ‘dad bod’ because he doesn’t have clearly defined abdominal muscles. In the meantime, these are trolls hiding behind a computer slinging these insults. Thankfully I’m sure Baker doesn’t read them and could care less , but certainly when it comes to school-age children or simply a more vulnerable man, this could be a real issue. When I was in treatment, there was only one boy there. He was a beautiful soul and I still think about him often. He told me many stories of his teen years and his childhood. He was incessantly bullied for being thin and ‘feminine’. His life could’ve been different simply by one person choosing to have compassion. These are kids however. Children are insecure and often do this projecting, to discover who they are and inappropriately build their own confidence. We aren’t children.
Some people want to lose or gain weight for their own comfort. Some people go to great lengths to lose weight for health reasons. There is nothing wrong with supporting someone who is making positive decisions for their best health and highest good. I choose a plant based diet to maintain a healthier lifestyle and one that is conducive to my ethical and spiritual alignment. What I’m suggesting is not that we aren’t aware of health or being prime in our bodies. They are after all our temples. What I’m promoting is shifting your focus within, to how you FEEL. Having awareness of your words and how they effect your energy. How we can support others by saying it’s okay to be you no matter what that looks like! The beauty of the soul is ALL that will matter as we transition out of these bodies and material world. How much time do you want to waste worrying about what your skin, lips, abs, thighs look like? Ask yourself. Do I feel good?! Did I nurture a space where my friend can feel good and simply-BE?!
We are on a mission to remember we are spiritual beings having a physical experience. Not the other way around. The next time you go to complement somebody’s appearance, ask yourself first why you are doing it. You might want to simply say “it’s so good to see you”. Or “ You look happy” Or “ Your outfit brings out your inner beauty even more”.
This is not ultimately about me. It’s not about eating disorders. That revelation was to be a reminder that we never know what battles one may face.
I hope my words can be a mirror. Perhaps thought provoking . They are intended to help connect us all in a stronger way, and take our evolution to a higher place. We are all in this together. I wish that you are secure no matter what words you hear, but that we can support one another to that state, by being more mindful. It feels good to be unencumbered by the power of truth. It also feels good to eat cupcakes and share love, with no conditions.
I love you ALL